Told you not to hold your breath.....

Before I begin, I would like to make a couple of disclaimers:
1) I have tried to get the spell check to work multiple times without success, so I apologize for the errors. This will make more sense after you read #2.
2) I'm going to attempt to be computer savvy and add links to this post. Problem.......not really computer savvy. So, if you get to a place where there seems like there should be a link and there isn't, laugh hysterically because trust me it was the funniest thing you've ever seen (wink, wink).

As has been repeatedly brought to my attention, a little time has elapsed since my last post. Therefore, this post will attempt to summarize what I have been doing. Here we go.......
Work, sleep, do laundry.....repeat.
Alright, there you have it. Thanks for reading!







Just kidding.....kinda!

Following the last post, our nation celebrated its birthday. YAY!!! I love a holiday that not only encourages people to partake in alcoholic beverages but then suggests that they endanger their friends and family by lighting things on fire that explode and fly in the air in unpredictable patterns. God Bless America!!!!! And to top it all off, people are inspired to wear the colors red, white and blue in a variety of ways accented with buttons and stickers that say things like, "Happy Birthday America!"
To properly celebrate such a wonderful holiday, I flew out to see my friends in Virginia Beach (its a tough job, but somebody has to do it!). This trip will also be know as "close encounters of the slightly famous kind". On my first flight (I'm starting to think that those things called "direct flights" now currently reside at the north pole with Santa and the Easter Bunny), I swear I saw Keri Strug, www.reviewjournal.com/.../scheid/scheid8.html. If it wasn't Keri Strug, we live in a very unfair world because if you are that short and are not an olympic gymnast, what is the point? The other sighting happened a couple of days later but also at the airport. As we were waiting to pick up our traveler, I am sure we saw Ted Nugent on the sidewalk, www.robinhoodvideos.com/success_stories_-_n.htm.
P.S...... it is not a compliment to be mistaken for Ted Nugent. So if it was not him, I apologize to the traveler who apparently missed the day in 5th grade health class where they talked about personal hygiene. Soap + water = good!
The best part of this story is that I did not recognize him from his rock and roll fame but from the reality show where he chased people around and shot at them. I was informed later, thanks to my brother, that Ted Nugent is more notably know for his involvment in "classic rock and roll....HELLO!". That is a direct quote.

I know what you are thinking....after those encounters, how could your weekend have gotten any better? Well, you mix things like beach, sun, sweet tea, good friends, and Napolean Dynamite quotes and you can't help but enjoy yourself!

Following my little vacation, it was back to work. I will not relay the boring details of my job......the life of a bottom-rung employee is not very exciting. However, in my recent travels, there are a few things I have noticed and would invite any explanation you would like to give.

1) Why do older women insist on wearing white shirts that are sooo thin that you can see their entire bra through their shirt? I mean, the hush puppies and khakies would give the impression that they are modest but they end up showing more skin than their 20 year old granddaughters! Grandmothers of America I'm beggin' you......please buy some new shirts, or at least double layer them!

2) Do they teach a class in car rental school called, "how to ask someone's profession in the most uninterested way"? Everytime I just want to say, "you don't care and you asking me does not make me feel any differently about you!"

3) Is there a way that I could notify the stewardess that whether or not I am asleep, I do want my designated one cup of beverage? Every flight I have this battle in my head of whether I should sleep or wait it out for my beverage selection. Enevitably, I nod off for the brief 5 minute window that she/he passes my row. I mean, you are more than happy to jolt me out of dreamland to tell me to put my seat in the full and upright position and to stow my seamingly harmless portable electronic device....is a "would you like a beverage" shake going to kill you?

Please feel free to enlighten me on any of these issues.