The River Wild......

Now this post may seem a tad different than the previous entries. You might notice a slight change in the tone of the writing. What has changed? Here is the difference, Candice has battled against nature and has won! It was tough, insert picture of bruise on my knee, but very worth it in the end. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to ride the wild river in the great state of Oregon. You might know Oregon by its famed downtown Oregon attractions. If you aren't familiar with downtown Oregon, you can ask the Don about that one......
I was able to travel to Oregon because of the high demand for highschool textbooks for the many campers along the Deschutes River. Don't judge, these folks also deserve the chance to study "quality science curriculum for the home and christian school". Regardless of why I was there, I was so here is the account of my travels this past weekend.
First of all, this was my first traveling experience since the terrorist scare in the UK. Thank goodness I was almost done traveling for the summer when this happened because I would not have survived. I don't know what it is about not being able to have something that makes you want it soooooo badly. Because I could not take a beverage on board, the minute I entered the jetway, I was beyond thirsty. There were a couple of times that I had to resort to swallowing my own saliva on that barren wasteland called the time between take-off and the beverage service. Trust me, this time there was no falling asleep and missing my drink of diet Pepsi. Also, I swear my lips were more chapped this time around (chapstick is also a very suspicious carry-on item).

This is kind of jumping back in the story but I have to tell you about this tard that was on my first flight. They start to board the plane and the droves of people jump in line so they can rush on the plane to sit down again. The line is extra slow this time because they have to search all of your luggage for liquid contraban. We are still sitting, waiting for the line to die down, when hot shot walks up to the attendant and says, "Can I just go through?" "Do I have to go with these other people?" Apparently, this guy missed the class on how to exist on earth with other people. Rule #1, when you are going into an smaller area with a bunch of other people, you have to form this thing called a line.... and STAND IN IT!!!

Anyway, back to the trip. The first couple of days were standard business as usual. Since the majority of my readers are fellow employees, I will not elaborate because I sense you are probably having an adverse reaction to the mere mention of the word conference! The real excitement began on Saturday evening.
We left the Portland area and drove a couple of hours to the only hotel that had availability. I'm going to say two words now that strike fear in the hearts of travelers everywhere......Budget Inn. Lets just say its not a good thing to comment on the conditions of an establishment by saying, "At least there wasn't blood on the sheets...". After a night of sleeping on top of the sheets, I awoke to the melodious sound of 6 motorcycles backfiring right outside of my window. If anyone knows of an alarm clock that has the sound "harley in the morning" let me know because there is no better way to start the day!
Before I knew it, I was out the door and on my way to battle the mighty Deschutes. We met up with our fellow rafters and headed to the river. After a brief lesson on how to tighten your life jacket so that it inhibits proper respirations, we were off! In case you have never been rafting, the following is a list of things that you must have:

1) a raft
2) oars
3) one passenger who is way excited about the first break so he can have a beer
4) cold water
5) a river guide who has longer hair, does not understand the concept of a 5 day workweek, and incorporates the word dude into every sentence

Check, check, and ......check. We even had the required conversation about how many people had drowned on the river that week. It would take too long to describe all the details of the adventure (its getting late and I have to get up early to learn how to save lives tomorrow, i.e. wipe butts), therefore I will create yet another list of what I have discovered about white water rafting....

1) Its AWESOME!!!
2) In naming the different rapids, you are required to describe them in the most terrifying way possible. For example, we traveled down Devil's hole, the launchpad, and wreck. I must have slept through Angel's Pass, the Love Boat, and Dreamsicle Swirl.
3) The major rule of rafting is don't fall out, however, jumping out is perfectly acceptable. There were several points during our trip that our guide asked if anyone wanted to jump out and swim for awhile. I'll let you guess if I did or not.....
4) The best seat on the raft is at the very front (close your eyes mom, you don't want to read this...). They let us take turns "riding the bull", which involved balancing on the front edge of the raft while you traveled through the rapids. Way fun!!!
5) Finally, I learned that finding a way to get paid to float down a river all day sounds way better than getting paid to ask someone if they need help taking their bath today.......